I'M ROMA BAJAJ KOHLI
Best selling co-Author, Spiritual Life Coach, Founder of the awakened mind method.
I’ve been there.
Omg, i’ve lived it for 14 years of my life
The hard truth: I have travelled, worked and lived in 5 different countries for my spouse's work. I gave birth to 2 amazing children. I have a very loving, caring, and supportive husband. My life has always been perfect. I feel like I’m living a life that most people would crave for. I’ve travelled almost all of Europe. I’ve lived and worked at pret-a-porter Paris and Italy the Mecca for designers. I used to be a professor in design college. And yet every night when my head hit the pillow or when no one was watching me I was constantly feeling like a failure, so empty, so resentful, and so frustrated on the inside.
At 22 years old I had suicidal thoughts as I hated every bit of myself and my life. I doubted myself and felt like my self esteem was the lowest it had ever been. My early marriage made me feel like a liability and I was so lost and confused about Who I really was? (talk about identity crisis especially being born a girl child felt like a curse.)
I was feeling so UNWORTHY and Scared all the time
I had everything on the outside yet I was so miserable, disappointed and ashamed on the inside. I knew that there was more to me. I wanted to serve at a bigger grander level. Not realizing that you can't be of inspiration and help to other individuals until you first overcome, heal and transform your own self sabotaging patterns.
For most of my childhood I heard phrases like I’m dumb, I’m a duffer, I’m a failure and so on…
I know that you also have a version of this in your past life. These self destructive words and events become the defining moments of our life… And not surprisingly that's the tape your subconscious plays even when you are way older. Which also manifests as life-threatening illnesses.
I’m not enough. I’m not smart, who the hell am I?
Aren’t you tired of this constant noise that has become your voice?
I totally was exhausted from being scared and staying stuck. I wanted to break free and fully own who I was meant to be. I was almost at the breaking point in my life when I held my daughter in my arms for the first time. I was so scared that I would mess her life up too. That hate, anger and frustration and all my fears came alive so strongly in front of me that I had no other choice but to face my demons head on. That rage and fire within me to take responsibility and transform my life and my being was so strong, but I didn't know where to start. I mean I had never considered working on myself ever. I didn’t fully believe that there was hope and that I was worth it.
So I decided to become my own boss. Again I had no clue what I would do yet the desire and the hunger to find the real me was so intense that I hopped from one business idea to another and failed miserably at so many. I was told by so many of my friends what I was good at. I was giving way too much permission to everyone else to dictate and have opinions about my life and my calling because I didn't TRUST me. So no surprises when I found myself confused and lost again.
I was so desperate to earn money, have an identity and feel worthy on the outside that I didn't realize I was going further away from my inner harmony, joy, and peace. My why was lost in all my anguish. I hustled so hard that briefly I stumbled upon success with a thriving 5-figure catering business, and ran my own home based yoga studio. Became the leader of a women’s empowerment organization and still kept seeking and longing for something more…
Things changed a lot for me when I went for my 30 day residential training in yoga, lifestyle and coaching. The ashram life in India became my sanctuary. I realized and tapped into something that I had never felt before. I found a new me. I awakened to my core, my inner essence and sense of being. And since then my perspective towards life changed. A whole new realm of possibility and awareness opens up when you decide to take that leap of faith and follow that tiny voice that says ‘YOU’VE F*$%ING GOT THIS’!
My life is far from perfect.
But perfectionasium is not what you are really after anyway… Because if that is what you wanted you would have given up on doing anything long back. The fact that you perceive you are a perfectionist is because you kind of feel safe behind that lens. If it’s not perfect let's hide. Let’s not show up. Let’s not do it. Because you have created the failed outcome already in your head before it could even go out there.
So, let’s shift gears here a bit-
I know just like me you have been seeking for something deeper and more meaningful on the inside.
You know that there is more to you and your real life’s purpose and passion...
You know you haven’t just come here(on earth) to have a thriving career and make a family. $$$$ in your bank account, yet is that really calling your soul?
You have a deeper desire to serve and align with the best version of you so that you can become the master creator of your life and transcend all your limitations, fears and doubts.
You are here to express your true self and make a meaningful impact on your life along with the life of those around you.
Where gratitude and appreciation are not just concepts that you wish to implement rather being grateful is the core value of your existence and a radical form of self expression.
Becoming the master of your mind is not an aspirational quality to have; rather, it is a basic skill and need so that you can keep all your doubts, fears, negative thoughts, procrastination and old patterns at bay.
Having a daily routine and discipline is not like living your life like a military boot camp rather it is the way you get to harness your superpowers and make an inspiring impact in all that you do.
Meditation is not just a popular practice to do rather a great tool to use that brings stillness, healing, improves focus, and transforms your vision of you by building confidence and resilience.
Empathy, compassion and kindness is not what you exclusively keep for others rather it’s who you are at your core and you just share and spread what you grow abundantly within you.
So you, my dear one, who is still glued to my about me page up this far. I want you to know that you are really this close to that transformation and level of self mastery and self acceptance that you seek only and only if you allow yourself to receive that support and growth that you have been longing for.
Your pain can be converted into bliss all you need is your own PERMISSION to get out of your own way- to know that you are all deserving no matter what you believe and what others tell you.
Your super powers are yours and only you can own and shine those gifts with this world. No one else can.
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